Ten Things You Will Never Find in an American Grocery Store

#10: This much sausage.

Seriously, who eats this much sausage?!

#9: Things in bags that really should not be sold in bags.

Not just ice cream, but also sour cream, and even milk! This presents some logistical issues.

#8: Spices and baking goods in packets.

Spices, cocoa, baking powder-- all very hard to find in jars, and very expensive if you do.

#7: Unwashed produce.

That's how you know it's fresh, right?

#6: Kinder eggs.

Apparently these are now illegal in the States.

#5: "Mister Proper."

I guess Ukrainians prefer that things be "proper" more than "clean"?

#4: Kefir.

Looks like milk... feels like yogurt... is actually neither.

#3: Crab-flavored potato chips.

Yes, you read that correctly.

#2: Whole pigs.

Because sometimes, "every possible cut of pork" is just not enough pork.

And the #1 thing...

Colored... and yes, SCENTED... toilet paper.

Because I want my bum to smell like violets.

By the way, one other thing you won't find in American supermarkets... potatoes fresh from my department head's mother's garden. :)